Hogwallop's Ramblings

2011-04-21T16:04:00.001-06:00

Our Cute Family - Stick Figures & Silhouettes

2009-11-10T22:15:00.007-07:00

A cutesy website - widdlytinks.com allows you to get all crafty creative and stuff... Look, I made a representation of our family as cutesy stick figures and silhouettes, too. Now I just need it as a vinyl sticker and we can be like millions of others with it on our car.

Quicky: Kanab-Style with a Bucket

2009-10-15T22:00:00.002-06:00

We headed to Kanab, Utah to visit the in-laws for a quick 4-day weekend at the beginning of October. It wasn't much warmer due to the high winds we had for pretty much the whole trip...

We tried doing s'mores over the in-law's fire-pit, but the winds made it quite difficult.Without fail, Thing 2 discovered some messy goodness
Thing 1 even had some driving instruction, and with the in-laws approval can now drive the Rhino around the property...
The in-law's neighbors have a zip-line and rigged up a child seat, so Thing 2 had a fun ride...

We even shot a little movie of him in action:

And after a nice long day, Thing 2 decided he'd be most comfortable watching tv from a big bucket...

Fun with Photo 505

2009-09-16T22:07:00.000-06:00

Thing 1

Thing 2

Courtesy of Photo505

Mud Boggin'

2009-07-31T11:51:00.007-06:00

Mud and Boys
Is it just in our nature?

Here is yours truly - Mud Bog circa 1973
(Me on the left, my buddy Chuck on the right)

And Thing 2, the other day
(Koda will be a year in August - she's getting big)

(2009 in case you guys forgot)

Summer Ketchup

2009-07-21T20:12:00.002-06:00

Did I just make a pun? It is about time for me to get back on track and catch up on the ol' blog...

June - 2009

Thing 2 plays with sunscreen

Just look at those eyes... Busted! Luckily the couch is leather, so the clean up wasn't too bad.

Early in June, we took a quick trip to Moab to meet Mrs. H's half-sister and family - we went river rafting and then camped 1 night in Moab and then back to Kanab to visit Mrs. H's parents.

The only pics we took were of us at the North Fork of the Grand Canyon. Although it was June, being at 8,000 feet meant is was still chilly. And of course we didn't have a coat for Thing 2 - so we made due with a swim cover-all that used to fit Thing 1.

The fam-damily at the beginning of the trail out to the vista

Thing 1 and I take a breather half-way out...

Behold the beauty of the cover-all...

Couldn't get Mrs. H to hike to the end of the vista, but the kids had no problem.

A little tired from the hike, but what a view!

Cousins "J" and "C" enjoying the grandeur of the vista

Grand-dad "C" and Thing 2

Mid-June, Mrs. H and I dropped the kiddies at my parents on our way to San Francisco (anniversary trip).

We took a tour of the city, starting at the renovated Ferry Building and drove down the Embarcadero through Fisherman's wharf. Up to Steiner street to see the famous "Postcard row".We got to go inside the last house on the left and see the restoration the owner had recently completed. It was cool to see gas lamps flickering throughout the home.

Potty-break at Grace's Cathedral (funny how the tour guide chooses the rest-stop...) We continued through Golden Gate park, with a brief stop at the Japanese Tea Gardens.
The Golden Gate Bridge from the north vista. It was a really sunny day - lucky for us.
Lunch in Sausalito and a ferry ride back to our starting point. We walked down Lombard (the curvy part) on the tour, and later went back to drive it ourselves. If you haven't really seen the city, do yourselves a favor, take the city tour. It was worth it.
The next day, we went north to Muir Woods - proof that I could be a tree-hugger...Back to the city for the required stop at Ghiradelli square for an ice cream sundae.It was a quick 3-day trip. Thing 1 and 2 seemed to enjoy their time with Nana and Papa and their cousins.

Thing 1 and her cousin "N" playing in the back yard...

Thing 2 and his cousin "D" enjoying a frozen treat.

While we were in Chinatown we found some cute outfits for the kids (maybe a little hokie) - the picture turned out nice....

Achy Breaky, Tooth!

2009-05-06T20:52:00.008-06:00

(Caption say's "worst case of ninjavitis I've ever seen.")

It certainly feels like Ninjas are engaged in the ultimate battle in my mouth.

Last week, after grumbling to the Mrs. for the past 2-3 days, I went to my dentist complaining about a pain in one of my molars. Thought maybe there was something stuck in between the back 2 molars that floss and toothpicking could not clear.

After an x-ray, it was discovered that part of a filling had broken loose, and as my dentist put it the "perfect storm" occurred - some nice bacteria were lurking patiently (thus the ninja-vitis reference) and they attacked when the shields were down.
The bad news was that part of a filling sheared away and took some of the tooth sidewall with it. My dentist tells me, "good news, we can salvage the tooth. Bad news, the tooth will have to be crowned."
So I have to go see an Endodontist, but the one he recommended isn't on my insurance plan - Grrr! (lousy HMO, mumble mumble, curse-under-my-breath...) So we call the HMO and finally find one whom he can recommend... But, I couldn't get into to have the root canal done until the following week. Grrr! again.

My dentist gives me a prescription for lortab to tide me until then... It works nicely at night until the effects wear off and I'm up at 3 am writhing in pain...

Anyone know if this is still available? Think it might work, too. May really make me loopy but if it deadens the pain, I'm about ready for anything.
Part 2 of the story. I finally get to see the Endodontis - hurray! 'pain, pain, go away...', I'm thinking as the Endodontist administers shots in the upper palate - man I have yet to experience anything more painful. Novocain applied and doing its thing, and now the drilling... and more drilling... and more drilling...
He tells me everything is going smoothly over the loud drilling into my skull (I did wonder why the drill bit hadn't yet made it to my brain...)

Uh-Oh, Houston, we have a problem... I hear him talking over the drilling about the 'decayed nature' of the tooth to his assistant, to which later he tells me "we didn't get everything done today. We'll need to schedule another visit."

"Ok", I say with a sigh, pondering at how much more $$$ out of pocket...
The receptionist tells me, "our next available is in 10 days. Is this ok?" Thinking that the pain had been taken care of, I agree to this date. I must have been high from the novocain, because as soon as it wore off, I was greeted by my old friend, Mr. Tooth Pain.

Luckily, a cancellation has me back in tomorrow - Fingers crossed - hoping the good doctor will fix me all better.

No Daddy, I Do It Myself

2009-04-25T19:44:00.005-06:00

Thing 2 has witnessed Thing 1 rummage through the fridge and pantry for snacks and treats enough times, that it appears he can do it all by himself.

Mrs. H and I were chatting as we heard thing 2 pull the stool over to the fridge, open the freezer, get the ice cream out, scoot the stool over to get a bowl out of the cupboard, find the ice cream scoop and voila,

"daddy, I do it myself", he says...
He's learning too quickly... (BYU product placement not intended, but it is cool, huh?)

I Hate You!

2009-04-21T19:16:00.003-06:00

This goes out to Mrs. H... She just has not been "feeling the love" lately.

Sunday early evening, Mrs. H was trying (and she was having her nerves really tested) to help Thing 1 with her homework. Thing 1 was protesting and just fighting against being helped. I left to attend a youth activity for my church and returned home about an hour later to witness:

The ultimate Prima Donna behavior (Mrs. H swears it is all payback for the way she was as a child). Thing 1 was yelling at the top of her lungs out her window "I hate my mom! I want her to die, and I really really mean it!".

Some would say that means she's doing a good job at parenting. At first I felt a little embarrassed, as many of the neighbors were out and about (strolling the sidewalk or socializing with each other on that beautiful Sunday evening).

The shrieks were very clear. (the mental picture that ran through my mind):
And to top it off, last night (Monday), the new cat (Mrs. H picked him out) climbed on her while she lay asleep and peed on her.

Revenge of the Meeces

2009-03-12T20:08:00.010-06:00

Chapter II of the saga...

Where to start, where to start....

Now as per the original post, Mrs. Dr. Doolittle was happy we were catching meeces in our 'humane' traps and subsequently "freeing" them in fields away from our home. (If nursery rhymes teach us anything, it is that we should be "scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head...") Back to the story...

"Of course", I'm thinking, "We are just perpetuating the problem and giving the meeces a second chance of infiltrating someone else's home..."

So a week or so ago, I had returned home from one of many "underground mouse-railway" trips (think we had freed 6 so far..) to the fields to free the meeces... I put the trap outside on the deck.

Mrs. H didn't like that, "the dogs could get to it", she says and decides she'll put it inside the BBQ grill for now; later, she'll put more peanut butter and set it back up.

An hour or two passes and she now has time to attend to the re-baiting of the trap. She grabs the trap and brings it inside from the deck. She begins to open it and...

(No, no. Not Jamaican Reggae singer Eek-a-Mouse)

...there were live meeces inside the trap.

Oscar-winner for Outstanding female performance, Mrs. H does the stereotypical -- Now try saying this all in one breath... 1, 2, 3... Take a DEEP BREATH...

Freaking Out lady looking for the highest place off the ground, scampers up on the counter top in the kitchen and at the same time throwing the now-opened trap on the ground, thereby "liberating" the meeces inside our own house!"

(Ok, breathe now...)

The doglies didn't even notice the meeces (we think two) running for cover. I eye in on one and try to corner it, but I'm no mouser - too slow. I watch it make it's way underneath Thing 1's computer desk in the family room.

Of course, you realize, this means war!

It's time for barbaric measures. She says, "We will KILL those mice (translation: "You, Mr. H, will take care of this for me...") no matter what!"

I think this means Mrs. H can now officially lose the title Mrs. Dr. Doolittle. "The gloves are off!", she declares.

She then breaks down into worry, anxiety-mode tears at the thought of just having released the meeces inside the house. I poke fun at her, of course, for not checking the trap prior to opening it.... (relegated to the couch for that comment...)

Off to the store to get our weapons of mass destruction. I think we ended up with at least a dozen snap traps, a few sticky pads, as well as the original "humane" traps now set up throughout the lower level of the home.

A new part of my morning ritual is to now check the traps before heading off to work. I was pretty good at it, but alas, I have yet to find treasure...

Were they getting their REVENGE!?!

No, they just decided to be trapped and subsequently disposed of by the one who cringes at the very thought.... Mrs. H.

Living Room mouse, as it was formally named, was killed in a snap-trap behind the TV. Thing 1 really got into the "disposal" process. Donning gloves, she skipped all the way to the big garbage can outside after stuffing trap and prey into a sandwich baggy to get rid of it.

"1 down, 1 to go" I told the tale to my mom over last Sunday's evening phone conversation. "Not so fast, Mr. H.", she replies. There could be more... mice multiply fast, she explained...

"Great!," I reply. How long will this go on? Before Kitty-Dawg's demise, she had pointed, or poked around underneath the stove. Mrs. H heard some noise and decided that is where mouse 2, aka Kitchen Mouse, had set up base-camp.

She set a trap in the oven, and in the drawer below the oven. Next morning, BINGO! We had caught our 2 inside-house mouses...

After deep-cleaning the oven, and scouring the floors with Clorox Clean-up, the Mrs. still senses we may have them varmints in the house. So a thorough cleaning of the pantry and looking around for evidence (mouse turds), she decides we need traps behind the fridge, in the pantry, underneath the kitchen sink and at the back of a few lower kitchen cabinets.

Yesterday morning, Mrs. H discovers another trapped mouse in a lower cabinet, but it wasn't dead. She yells for Thing 1 to come "glove up" and get it... Thing 1 can't reach it, as the mouse had somehow (trap and all) gotten underneath the bottom of the cabinet (inside that free space between the back side of the kick plate of the cabinet and the wall.

Mrs. H calls me to "Find a MAN for the job!" She thinks our neighbor, Jeff, is home, so I call him and he goes over to assess the problem.

End of story: he had to take my Sawzall to the back bottom of the cabinet to get to the mouse and promptly disposed of it.

"Did you see him kill the mouse?" I ask Mrs. H when I arrived home from work.

"EWWW!!!, don't talk about it. I don't want to think about it." She said.
or this?

Mrs. H is hell-bent on eradicating meeces, altogether... Traps will soon go in the basement. Will there be a chapter 3 to this story? ...STAY TUNED!

Kitty - Dawg - R.I.P

2009-03-09T00:09:00.001-06:00

Death is never convenient...

Mrs. H was alerted that "Dawg" (Thing 1 did give it a name: Tink) was convulsing and not breathing well. So Sunday about 6 p.m., Mom and Thing 1 take Tink up to the ER Vet hospital.

Mrs. H calls me and asks me to get a sitter for Thing 2 as quickly as possible and come up. I sense I'm being summoned to put down the "Mean daddy" foot.

When I arrive, Tink is on 100% oxygen and the vet had done an x-ray. He so nicely tried to let us know that a whole bunch of "not good" was going on with kitty. An enlarged heart (most likely congenital heart defect - prognosis: not good), perhaps collapsed lung (may be treatable, but anesthesia may kill the kitty because she's not bringing in any oxygen); a herniated diaphram (can't tell if the liver is being sucked through... Anyway, exploratory surgery could reveal the full scope, but at what cost? It just wasn't good. That's where mean daddy gets to play his role...
It is difficult for me to recreate the scene, but I am tearing up as I think back to seeing the emotions of life and death play it's horrific game with both Mrs. H and Thing 1.

"We've only had the kitty for 2 weeks", I keep thinking in my mind. "And, besides, whoever dumped her into our yard and made her our problem - SHAME ON YOU!" Alas, I hope Kitty Dawg (Tink) is in a better place.

It really isn't the money, but, Damn it! Why does death have to be so inconvenient!?

I thought about some of the ironic humor involved with this, one of our family's stories, but I thought I will just post this little e-memorium for our sweet Kitty DAWG.

Meeces, I hate meeces!

2009-02-28T20:07:00.009-07:00

Remember Mr. Jinks?

With the new puppy this past year, we (No... Nope. Not this time... I am not taking the credit or blame on this story...) It is all Mrs. Hogwallop.

I digress... It was decided that the dogs would eat outside rather than the laundry room. Not enough room for both dogs to move around and eat without bothering each other, so we purchased a big garbage pail with a lid with plastic clamps to keep the dog food out on the back deck. Needless to say Thing 2 discovered quite quickly how to remove the lid and dump dog food all over the deck. He did this many times in our Summer of 2008. This meant little dog food pellets made their way into the cracks of the deck and eventually underneath the deck...

And it has become the new buffet of choice for unwelcomed guests. Even Mrs. Dr. Doolittle is not happy.

Meeces!
Not the cute kind like Pixie & Dixie.

Or, even more fondly remembered, Jerry and his little cousin, Nibbles. Maybe it's my fondness for things French, but I do remember the funny episode, "The Two Mousekateers" - Nibbles and his little baby accent, "Ah, pauvre pussycat! C'est la guerre."

(if you don't remember or never saw it. Tom and Jerry and Nibbles are french muskateers dualing with swords and at the end of the cartoon, Tom (at least it is aluded to, that he is beheaded by the guillotine for not keeping the place mouse-free; to which Nibbles says "poor pussycat, That's war!")If you have the Boomerang channel, you'll see it if you record it a few times.

So today, we...(Hang-on!), IT was decided the Hogwallops needed to deal with the meeces as Mrs. H was seeing them outside rather frequently and (although I'm going out on a limb with this blanket statement) freaked all girly-style with the heeby-jeebies, cooties and whatever else makes your skin curl and crawl... and said we MUST get rid of them!

Ah, BUT wait! We cannot kill them. Oh NO! That would be too cruel! Besides, traps means trouble for the dogs, Thing 2, the Mrs. puts her foot down.

"C'mon, it only takes one snap in the snot-locker and the doglies would leave the traps alone.", I protest.

"No, and no poison either!" So we're on a scavenger hunt for 'humane' mouse-traps.

And we find, The Tomcat live catch mouse trap. Nifty little thing, but it only catches one mouse at a time. Which means we have to dispose of (we only purchased two) of the meeces two at a time. So we take a drive out to a field upon catching our first pair.

Mrs. Hogwallop is freaking out the whole time in the car and pushing me as far to the other side as possible and whincing and getting girly-squeamish and I hold the traps in my hands motioning (you know, boy torture) that I'll drop them in her lap...

We stop next to the field, and I pop the lid open then holding the base, snap my wrist so it flings and ejects Mouse 1 and Mouse 2 into the field - they'll probably die by morning (a nice head fracture or whatever... I don't care what happens to them. I wanted to kill them in the first place, remember?)

So two weren't enough and we head out again to the Home depot to find traps that will hold 5-6 at a time. So we've set them up and we could have a nice harvest tomorrow morning...

Danger Mouse will be coming to seek his revenge.... on us! It's just a matter of time...

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2009-02-24T17:27:00.018-07:00

At the Hogwallops... So much to say, not sure if I should have done 2 separate posts, but I'm too lazy...

So this weekend, we finally finished painting the kitchen and the monster-wall. The paint color is "utterly beige" - isn't that sweet?

The wife re-did the artsy stuff above the cupboards...

and the more interesting part of our weekend...

My wife has a new name. No No, we're not divorcing... I believe she has earned the name of: Mrs. Dr. Doolittle

Why? Because we go from 1 animal, to 2, to now 3...

Well, let me just tell you... Someone decided to dump a little kitty in our backyard. Now this really couldn't be the cat that just decided to be in our backyard. That is just wrong - a death-wish for a cat to jump in our yard... So we think someone gave it the heave-ho.

"Dawg" - our new kitty

Secretly this must be what the kitty is thinking...

And now, the funny: The dogs love playing with the kitty and the kitty just goes along with whatever. On Sunday, my wife told me she saw Koda have her whole mouth around the kitty's head. Just playing... Well they seem to be bosom buddies.

So if you know anyone in need of a kitty...

This morning, my wife IM's me to say that the The Good (Timber), The Bad (Koda), & The Ugly (Not sure what to call the kitty - so I'm going with "DAWG" until Thing 1 comes up with a better name) were playing so hard, and affecting her sleepy time so much, that finally, she shut them out of our bedroom last night.
I told her maybe it was time to 'thin the herd'. She busted up laughing...

Freaky Friday

2009-02-20T13:09:00.007-07:00

The house is a wreck because we're painting the kitchen - and those that have seen our high vaulted ceiling you understand how insane it really is to get it painted...

So Thing 2 is playing around the house. He really likes to get into things that aren't his. I think it might be his favorite thing of all...

He loves both Thing 1's play makeup and mommy's real stuff... And this seems to happen quite frequently - Thank goodness for child locks (but they're only good when they are being used...)

So this morning I'm in an out of the house trying to get stuff done. Mommy say's "Hey mister, Thing 2 is all yours, I'm not feeling well and am going to go nap."

"But...", I protest, of course it doesn't get me anywhere...

Anyway I call out my boy's name every couple of minutes to check where he is and to see what he might be getting into.

I do this about 11 am and I don't hear anything. No response so I start walking around the house. No sight of the boy. There are ladders in the kitchen and the table is blocking my ability to get out back, so I go out the front and open the side gate, walk around and still no sight of my boy. I panic. I go up to my sleeping wife and say, I've lost the boy. I'm going to walk around the block just to see if I find him.

The weather isn't terribly cold, but it is still cold and I'm certain Thing 2 wouldn't have either shoes or a coat on if he did happen to sneak out front without my noticing...

I walk all around our mini block and over to our neighborhood park looking out for little foot prints in the snow packed throughout the neighbor's yards and still... Nothing.

I am a wreck and cannot figure where he might have gotten himself. I come inside and quickly head upstairs... I'm about to awake the sleepy wife and then I come back downstairs to think where he could possibly be. I notice this lump on the couch..

Peacefully asleep. Whew!!!!

Dough-boy!

2009-02-03T21:38:00.006-07:00

Thing 2 got busy with the flour!

Oh and by the time he was done, he had mixed enough saliva to make little dough balls. Aren't I cute?

It's Potty Time

2009-02-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

Superbowl Sunday and I'm feeling it's man-time. To the family this just means daddy wants to be a little selfish (you know leave me alone, so I can enjoy some quality football).

Good game. Nice to not see a blowout...

Meanwhile, since I was hogging the family room television, The rest of the fam-damily was upstairs hanging out. Thing 1 was watching Drake & Josh or iCarly....(gag) and I can hear mom wrestling with Thing 2 to change his diaper.

All of a sudden, I hear her scream, "No, Koda!

She is now preoccupied with cleaning up the puppy pee, when nekked boy decides he wants to pee, too! All over his bed.

Now the most famous peeing boy, at least that comes to my mind is in Brussels, Belgium - The Mannekin PisThat was the mental picture as I asked what was going on. This Belgian website shows several of the many costumes they put on the statue, as well as background, history, etc.

So, there you go, a funny story and some culture, too. All in one.

Literally Good

2009-01-28T22:40:00.005-07:00

I'm a sucker for a good 80's synthpop tune... Tears For Fears rarely disappoints .

Any-who, Dustin McLean put this literal version together over on the You-tube... He writes, "Ever wish songs just sang what was happening in the music video? Well now they do, in this second installment of literal videos!"
His version:

The Original
- embedding is disabled, but see the original video here

Catching up - Behind the times

2009-01-20T20:53:00.002-07:00

According to comic-book guy, "Best movie ever!"....

We had a free HBO preview this past weekend and the family finally got to see the Simpson's movie from 2007. So what! We're only a few years behind...

I remember the media blitz for it and remember going to an avatar creator SimpsonizeMe and digging around my old files, I found...

So here we are, in our finest Simpson glory:Back in summer of '07, Thing 2 was only about 9 months, so I tried updating his avatar, and now (gasp in horror) - I've cut the boy's feet off! (couldn't figure any better way to photoshop from flash...)

The flash animation seems to be a little different. And, I'm sure by the summer, Thing 2 will once again be running around in his birthday suit.

Without a Clue

2009-01-10T16:55:00.005-07:00

My wife loves the game and the movie. Me, (shoulder shrug) not-so-much. It was on the tv today and they showed all three endings (if you haven't seen it, it is worth watching).

Thing 1 was happy to watch as she has a new tv rule - no more than 1 hour a day on school nights and 3 allowed on the weekend. So she hen-pecked mom with questions while the movie was on.
Anyway, I thought the movie is funny - some good quotes:

Mrs. White: Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.
Wadsworth: But, he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
Mrs. White: But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
Wadsworth: But he never reappeared!
Mrs. White: He wasn't a very good illusionist.

Another funny - Professor Plum claims to work for the World Health Organization, a part of the United Nations Organization - meaning he works for U-N-O W-H-O (terrible, isn't it).

Happy (?) New Year

2009-01-02T12:47:00.007-07:00

I'm innocent, really I am!

So Thing 1 was outside playing in the snow while she waited for her friend to come over. She started throwing snowballs at the storm door. This made Thing 2 both excited and upset. Upset, because his coat was in the wash and we forgot his boots at the cousins the other night, so he couldn't join her outside.

I asked Thing 1 to stop throwing snowballs at the front door and went back to the family room. That's when we had one of those, "it couldn't have been more than 30 seconds..." later, and:
I know, you're all thinking snow ball right? Nope. Thing 2 got a hold of a screwdriver and was trying to taunt Thing 1 back into throwing more snowballs. Banging against the glass , he put the screwdriver through.
Just glad it is safety glass - pain to clean up (Thank you wet-dry shop vac), but no injuries. And I didn't throttle anyone, too.

We're a football family

2008-12-31T17:21:00.001-07:00

I hadn't really seen much of any of this year's BCS football games. I do like to watch college football; it's more 'all-out' than the NFL.

So the other night, I tried to watch the Oregon - Oklahoma State game. It was a really good game, too. Problem was, we (alright, alright, I) had a few, oh let's just call them 'obstacles' to really enjoy the game. Nothing terribly negative, just a few "pay attention to me!" quips from the "things"; even from my sweet wife, who, strangely enough just wasn't into watching the game (Go ahead, ask her, she's a bigger football nut than I).

So, it's the 4th quarter and as I normally put Thing 2 to bed, it is time. "Ah, but! I don't want to at the moment", I secretly protest.

Thinking I can get him to sit with me (hoping he's ready to wind down) and then we'll go upstairs to do the 'night-night' routine (bath, stories, saying our prayers, rocking chair, then, a la Emeril Lagasse style "Bam!", bed) once the game is over.

So I say, "Thing 2 (using his real name) Wanna' watch football?"

"Nuh-uh", he replies.

Jokingly, I reply as the wife is playing on the computer just behind me, "Are you queering out on me boy?"

"Uh-huh" - the better half and I are both ROTFL (you know, 'rolling on the floor laughing' - it's the text talk...)

Just had to share. I know the term is not PC, but I am a Democrat.

Christmas Greetings

2008-12-21T10:23:00.020-07:00

Hava Nagila - Hebrew for "Let Us rejoice" It truly is a wonderful time of year. Thing 2 looks so enthused... Years ago my mom gave me this cute little Austrian boy's hat. On me it really looks like a yarmulke or kippah. My mom says it is not.

Jewish men are required to cover their heads and should not walk more than four cubits without a hat. Wearing a kippah is described as 'honoring God'. (Thanks Wikipedia)

To me, Christmas is best when I am with my family. So to my family (& friends) throughout the world:

Danish: Glædelig Jul
French: Joyeux Noël
German: Fröhliche Weihnachten
Greek: Kala Christouyenna

Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka

Italian: Buon Natale
Portuguese: Feliz Natal
Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom

And to my brother and his family: (Afrikaans): Geseënde Kersfees en 'n voorspoedige nuwe jaar - "Blessed Christmas and a prosperous New Year!"

Love West-side momma,Thing 1, andThing 2
Yours truly,

Wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, from our winter wonderland

Ho Ho, What?!?

2008-12-17T23:41:00.001-07:00

Our pre-lit spinning Christmas tree blew a strand of lights and the wife tells me it's time to get a new one. Thinking I might be able to fix it, I tell her to not rush out and get a new one, besides, "we're going to pay an arm and a leg for a new one - 'tis the season, right?"

The wife had already made up her mind--New tree, no debate! So we found a decently priced replacement from the chic Martha Stewart line at Kmart (but I have a whole 'nuther post to expound on that...)

Thing 1 was so excited to help set up and decorate the new tree. She and mom really did a nice job decorating. Problem was Thing 2 wanted to help, too.

Over the past 2 weeks, our ornament trauma unit has seen a lot of action... I'm busy applying superglue where possible. (small tears...) we've had to send some off to the ornament graveyard.

One loss was a nice 5 inch Disney ears ball we picked up from Disneyworld back in 2000 (it was kind of like this one) - (sniff, sniff) it's gone.

So as ornaments are repaired we tend to place them higher up on the tree (out of Thing 2's reach), and it now looks so funny - it's so top heavy.

Thought this was a funny cartoon.

Mood Music Part Deux

2008-12-12T14:46:00.005-07:00

So, my last music post had me thinking,

"Gosh, Mister. So emotional. Better do something about that..."

So here's a couple of good ska tunes. 1) The Specials, "Pressure Drop". This is from the '90s (the original band is missing Terry Hall, and others)

2)Going back to 1970, Desmond Dekker - If you watched the movie "Fools Gold", you may remember hearing this. It's a happy tune.

Mood Music

2008-12-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

I thought about doing some recurring feature here at my blogspot and one that came up quickly: Music. There are so many other good music-related blogs out there, I thought maybe my spin of the subject matter would be to share what connection I have to a song, a lyric, a band. It might be simply:
* This is cool, it has a good rhythm or beat - check it out
* Great lyrics; they touch me in some way
* Or just new discoveries or re-discoveries...

How to, and specifically what... Well, let's start and see where it leads. So, Mood music; I was thinking about how it affects me emotionally.

Driving home tonight I had the mp3 player on shuffle, and Mat Kearney's catchy tune, entitled "Nothing Left To Lose" came on.

Lyrics:
...And I don't know how hard this wind will blow, Or where we'll go
Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off of the floor one more time to find you
Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose

It got me thinking about my life, I found myself singing along with the chorus (even doing the sing-hing and free-hee's along with it) and ... I cry so easily

Youtube -- See the whole song

Tag, Tag... I'm It

2008-12-08T23:39:00.008-07:00

So my fellow inter-webbers (thanks Peg and Laundry Queen) have said, "Mister, you're it!" And, thanks to Sesame Street, "this post is brought to you by the number 7":

Things I can do:

1. Shop (also includes spending too much time and/or $$$ doing it)
2. Cook
3. Never get enough good music (probably have to add shoes)
4. Cry (such an un-manly thing isn't it?) - and it's usually at dumb stuff, too
5. Throw up on demand
6. Spend too much time tinkering, but never getting it just right. (such as this post)
7. Pass (on a single quarter) all the levels of Black Tiger (at least I used-to-could)

Things I cannot do:

1. Bake (at least not very well)
2. Fix electrical things
3. Clean a toilet
4. Put a ponytail in Thing 1's hair
5. Easily control my temper
6. Help myself correcting people or asking for clarification when I hear them refer to something they can't remember the actual name as "Thing" (I call it thingy talk). To which I usually get a smirk and a nice slap in the arm, "you know, that thing!"
7. Be without my Things 1 & 2 and my wife

Things I like to eat:

1. BBQ Flank Steak (my own recipe)
2. Sweet Utah Corn on the cob (grilled or boiled)
3. Rocky Road milk shakes
4. Smacks or Golden Crisp + skim milk + peanuts = Mmm!
5. Garden Gate toffee - oh it is so good!
6. Papa Murphy's Chicago stuffed crust pizza (no onions, add mushrooms)
7. Diet Dew!!! I know it's not food, but this beverage washes down so much of my food...
Things I always say:

1. Damn It! Regrettably it is too often followed by the names of my children, Thing 1 & 2 (darn temper...)
2. Euphemisms for the S-H (EYE) T word... Oh Shi-ite!, Ah Shatner!
3. Quotes from Ferris Bueller's, Caddyshack, others... (not so much currently, but I sure used to)
4. Oh Hell! I give up... I'm too tired

&

Brought to you by Sesame Street, and

Thank you PBS...

Who's next? (MiKell, Ivy, Jennifer, Colleen, Bueller, Bueller...)

Noise, Noise, Noise Or Bad Parenting 101

2008-12-05T22:59:00.005-07:00

We have two "Super Wal-Marts" nearby, The newer one (a little further away) is rarely very busy... and as it was getting close to the kiddies' bed-time, we decide to go there.

The odd thing is that the last few times we've shopped at the newer store, Thing 2 has had major Meltdowns. He screams and screams, and seems just about inconsolable. Perhaps he can sense that poison gas the evil empire siphons throughout the store enticing one to buy even more... Whatever the reason, he generally isn't happy in this store.

To console or distract him, we have tried food, drink, a toy... This night, we tried a set of Handy Manny pj's (one of his new favorite shows) - He liked them, tore off the paper packaging (so now we're getting them no matter what...) Didn't work. Then we find a Manny talking toy with tools. It works; pacifying the boy and keeping him busy... Yeah!

"How much is it, honey?", I ask.

"Who cares! It's working", momma replies.

"Ok", I add, thinking it looks a little pricey. "I'll just put it back at the end of our shopping." What can I say, I'm cheap (Thanks, Dad)

As we continue shopping, the toy distraction wanes slowly. Thing 2 gets a little more vocal and Thing 1 decides she will play with her brother to help us get through the store a little faster. She takes him out of the shopping cart and starts running back and forth down the isle with the boy as we make our way through... Then she decides to take him in and out of different isles, generally keeping him busy moving and looking at stuff, regardless of where we are.

I sense the distance between parents and children is growing... But, hey "they're fine, right?."

I know, I know... reproachful comments like "Mister, this is being an irresponsible parent! How dare you neglect / abandon your children at a Wal-Mart..." "Letting them gad about the store unsupervised!" etc. swirl through my head... C'mon, I want to get through the store and back home as soon as possible. My girl was trying to help mom and dad out. And I was proud of her stepping up to help.

So we quicken the pace and as we wrap up (we're going through the produce section at the front of the store on our way to the checkout) we pause and just as the wife turns to me to say "go find the kids", we clearly hear Thing 2 shrieking. Not in pain or anger, but more of a happy "Here I am, Pay attention to me!"

He does this most frequently in the car. He'll see something and shrill out "Daddy!, Daddy!, Daddy!!!!" or "Momma!". This typically reminds me of either:

Get Smart (2008) - You gotta see it!

Family Guy's Stewie

The funny thing was we could clearly hear him. That is NOT typical for the Wal-Mart, for they are generally pretty noisy. And this shrieking was likely coming from clear across the Supercenter!

I laugh and somewhat embarrassingly go fetch the children.

So, what do you think - which is more annoying?

Infamous Dumb & Dumber snippet

OR

My boy's shriek? Not the pictures, silly...
THE SOUND!

A Relaxing Day & Night At Home

2008-11-28T19:43:00.009-07:00

It was kind of an odd Black Friday. There just wasn't really anything that persuaded us to head out early early today and try to beat the mobs...

So we just hung out today. And Thing 2 was able to be fully entertained by:

He calls it "Mommas"

Then he beckoned me to help set up his Geo Trax. We have nothing like this boy's set-up:

Finishing off the night we settled down for his first viewing of
The Polar Express

A Nice peaceful day/night...

UPDATE: 11/29/08 - Now it seems The Polar Express is his new favorite. We've watched it 3 times in a row tonight... Oh, BOY!

Utah - BYU Funnies

2008-11-26T19:04:00.007-07:00

Better late than never... I received a phonecall from a neighbor wanting to console me on my loss. BYU pretty much gave away the game and he wanted to be the first to rub it in. I thought it was funny. There are a bunch of reasons why BYU lost... My 2-cents: simply put, The U of U outplayed BYU.

Today, a friend shared with me this YouTube clip... "Hitler Reacts to the 2008 BYU-Utah Game" Whoever made it, I applaud you - very funny subtitles.

And In This Corner...

2008-11-20T21:31:00.025-07:00

Weighing in at just over 10 pounds. The southpaw from down south... KODA.

For the 1st match of the day she'll face: Thing 2

Would you look at that - just one cross and it's over, folks... Throw in the towel!

The bleeding over the left eye is just too severe to go on.

Think he'll learn his lesson? Do not wrestle with the puppy.

So we spent a few hours at the kid's care. He has a pretty good sized gash (although the steri-strips do a good job of hiding it); he'll be on antibiotics for 10 days - which, the doc says will for sure cause some wonderful diarrhea... And he's already ready for round 2

Fun times for a Thursday evening...

Gender Bending

2008-11-12T22:31:00.017-07:00

What Gender is Your Blog?
Here's the result: Funny... I do love:
and,
and I kind of dig this, Go Figure.

Halloween 2009?

2008-11-09T10:53:00.015-07:00

So, Wha' do think? Should he be Jack Skellington or Heath's Joker next year..?

This morning, Thing 2 found mommy's make-up. No assistance was needed by my boy. He did it all himself... And it's waterproof mascara, so Church today will be full of "well you see my boy just..."

Crazy nekked-ness

2008-11-08T12:23:00.012-07:00

A little hesitant about posting this, but it's just too funny.

So this morning, I'm up early, and as I'm always trying to think about what I can do for my better half (she's sure to agree on this one...), I get the puppy out of her crate and take her outside. Of course I'm just in my underwear, it is Nov. 8 and I'm shivering as I stand on the deck nudging Koda to go down to the back yard saying in my cutest voice 'go potty'. I'm greeted by my back-door neighbor, who has just poked his head out of his back patio door to say "Hi!"; perhaps he was also non-verbally telling me "Hey, Mister, you're in your underwear!". Embarrassed, I sneak back inside, put on some sweats and a jacket and Koda pays me back for my sugary-sweet "go potty" command by dumping right near the laundry room... Nice; I'd have rather stayed outside with just my nearly nekkedness than to have to clean up the puppy-poo.

So I replay the story to the wife when she wakes up, giving her quite the laugh. A short while later, Thing 2 decides he'd be most comfortable in his birthday suit and voila, I give you justification for why I refer to him as "nekked boy"...

"Look Dad, I love being nekked.."
I don't want to post anything offensive, so I've taken the liberty of adding some amateur graffit to cover the naughty parts...

The puppy chasing the boy...

And they make it to the sandbox.

Hallo-wieners

2008-10-31T20:51:00.012-06:00

So here we are; the great big hallowieners....

Just call me Mister Incredible....

It took a couple years of coaxing, but I finally convinced the better half to sew. And she is such a good seamstress, too! So we found this great rubbery fabric and she made the bootie covers, the armbands and the pièce de la resistance - rubby panties - man talk about bum sweat... We bought some poofy-paint from the crafty-crap store and I had fun painting the logo. Fun, great fun. Thing 2 was "Dash", momma was "Elastigirl" and yours truly being "Mr."

Thing 1 decided close to the last minute that she was too good to be a Super - she wanted to be a silly vampire. So we substituted the dogglies for the rest o' the SUPER fam-damily.

Where Our Celebrity DNA comes From

2008-10-24T11:08:00.009-06:00

So Thing 2 can grow up to be a celebrity - Can I get a woot-woot! Guess I need to throw him into acting classes right away.

And Thing 1 could certainly be a hollywood celeb. That is if Johnny Depp made babies with Selma Blair, Hillary Duff or Angela Lindvall - One of 'em could turn out to be our little princess - wearing a hard hat, no less.

And yours truly...

Wow! Jean Reno and Gary Sinese - aren't I sexy!

Hey everybody, I voted!

2008-10-24T09:14:00.040-06:00

Just look what I can do with my Fridays. With the new work schedule, I went to the library and voted early. Nice to be a civic-minded individual...

EDIT
I had posted what I thought was a funny satire on Obama vs. McCain, but my mother-in-law insisted I take it down as "the bleeping out the swears still doesn't make the listener not hear them..." So I'll remove My Funny Video and give this instead:

Add text to the Mccain Logo

Ooooh! This is funny!

A Puppy - yippee

2008-10-23T23:59:00.000-06:00

So the better half decides it's time to get another dog. Thing 1 wanted a hamster, but momma finds a cute little malamute online and drives an hour on Thing 1's birthday to pick the pup up. She is cute, but we now face a nice uphill battle with crate training; the dog has diarrhea, so mmmm... that'll be fun. We've set up barricades to try and keep her on the tile as much as possible to facilitate the clean-up of the poo. So without further a-do, meet Koda, you know, like North Da-Kota.

Meet The Fam-damily

2008-10-23T23:30:00.025-06:00

So I thought I'd try and keep up with the Jones, at least the technically savvy ones...

I have this insane desire to jump aboard the blog bandwagon so why not introduce the family? Isn't that step 1 in the blog-process?

I would like to try to, in this day-and-age, at least protect or thwart the invasion of whatever sense of family and individual privacy we have... (say it out loud, doing your best Nelson impersonation from the Simpson's, "HA-HA! Like that can happen...") So, here goes:

Thing 1 - the girl. I'll try to remember and refer to her simply as "M". She is our princess and boy does she act like it...

Thing 2 - the boy. He will likely be referred to (sometimes often) as "my little devil", "hellion", "the duke", "naked boy",etc.

But, as my mom reminds me, "he's simply payback for all the trouble you gave me..."

The Dogs: Timber & Koda - both Malamutes. Timber is 9 and Koda is 2 months. We've had Timber since she was a pup. She's starting to show her age, but hopefully the new pup will re-energize her a little. Koda is taking her sweet time crate-training, so we have had quite a number of "litter" to clean up.