We have two "Super Wal-Marts" nearby, The newer one (a little further away) is rarely very busy... and as it was getting close to the kiddies' bed-time, we decide to go there.
The odd thing is that the last few times we've shopped at the newer store, Thing 2 has had major Meltdowns. He screams and screams, and seems just about inconsolable. Perhaps he can sense that poison gas the evil empire siphons throughout the store enticing one to buy even more... Whatever the reason, he generally isn't happy in this store.
To console or distract him, we have tried food, drink, a toy... This night, we tried a set of Handy Manny pj's (one of his new favorite shows) - He liked them, tore off the paper packaging (so now we're getting them no matter what...) Didn't work. Then we find a Manny talking toy with tools. It
works; pacifying the boy and keeping him busy... Yeah!
"How much is it, honey?", I ask.
"Who cares! It's working", momma replies.
"Ok", I add, thinking it looks a little pricey. "I'll just put it back at the end of our shopping." What can I say, I'm cheap (Thanks, Dad)
As we continue shopping, the toy distraction wanes slowly. Thing 2 gets a little more vocal and Thing 1 decides she will play with her brother to help us get through the store a little faster. She takes him out of the shopping cart and starts running back and forth down the isle with the boy as we make our way through... Then she decides to take him in and out of different isles, generally keeping him busy moving and looking at stuff, regardless of where we are.
I sense the distance between parents and children is growing... But, hey "they're fine, right?."
I know, I know... reproachful comments like "Mister, this is being an irresponsible parent! How dare you neglect / abandon your children at a Wal-Mart..." "Letting them gad about the store unsupervised!" etc. swirl through my head... C'mon, I want to get through the store and back home as soon as possible. My girl was trying to help mom and dad out. And I was proud of her stepping up to help.
So we quicken the pace and as we wrap up (we're going through the produce section at the front of the store on our way to the checkout) we pause and just as the wife turns to me to say "go find the kids", we clearly hear Thing 2 shrieking. Not in pain or anger, but more of a happy "Here I am, Pay attention to me!"
He does this most frequently in the car. He'll see something and shrill out "Daddy!, Daddy!, Daddy!!!!" or "Momma!". This typically reminds me of either:
The funny thing was we could clearly hear him. That is NOT typical for the Wal-Mart, for they are generally pretty noisy. And this shrieking was likely coming from clear across the Supercenter!
I laugh and somewhat embarrassingly go fetch the children.
The odd thing is that the last few times we've shopped at the newer store, Thing 2 has had major Meltdowns. He screams and screams, and seems just about inconsolable. Perhaps he can sense that poison gas the evil empire siphons throughout the store enticing one to buy even more... Whatever the reason, he generally isn't happy in this store.
To console or distract him, we have tried food, drink, a toy... This night, we tried a set of Handy Manny pj's (one of his new favorite shows) - He liked them, tore off the paper packaging (so now we're getting them no matter what...) Didn't work. Then we find a Manny talking toy with tools. It
works; pacifying the boy and keeping him busy... Yeah!"How much is it, honey?", I ask.
"Who cares! It's working", momma replies.
"Ok", I add, thinking it looks a little pricey. "I'll just put it back at the end of our shopping." What can I say, I'm cheap (Thanks, Dad)
As we continue shopping, the toy distraction wanes slowly. Thing 2 gets a little more vocal and Thing 1 decides she will play with her brother to help us get through the store a little faster. She takes him out of the shopping cart and starts running back and forth down the isle with the boy as we make our way through... Then she decides to take him in and out of different isles, generally keeping him busy moving and looking at stuff, regardless of where we are.
I sense the distance between parents and children is growing... But, hey "they're fine, right?."
I know, I know... reproachful comments like "Mister, this is being an irresponsible parent! How dare you neglect / abandon your children at a Wal-Mart..." "Letting them gad about the store unsupervised!" etc. swirl through my head... C'mon, I want to get through the store and back home as soon as possible. My girl was trying to help mom and dad out. And I was proud of her stepping up to help.
So we quicken the pace and as we wrap up (we're going through the produce section at the front of the store on our way to the checkout) we pause and just as the wife turns to me to say "go find the kids", we clearly hear Thing 2 shrieking. Not in pain or anger, but more of a happy "Here I am, Pay attention to me!"
He does this most frequently in the car. He'll see something and shrill out "Daddy!, Daddy!, Daddy!!!!" or "Momma!". This typically reminds me of either:
Get Smart (2008) - You gotta see it!
OR
Family Guy's Stewie
The funny thing was we could clearly hear him. That is NOT typical for the Wal-Mart, for they are generally pretty noisy. And this shrieking was likely coming from clear across the Supercenter!
I laugh and somewhat embarrassingly go fetch the children.
Infamous Dumb & Dumber snippet
OR
OR
My boy's shriek? Not the pictures, silly...THE SOUND!
4 comments:
Fine post you've been working on, Mister! Very entertaining. We should get Thing 2 and Bud together for a scream-off. Although Bud's is much more infrequent these days and occurs only when he's upset or anxious-- which would probably be all of the time if we took him into that evil den called Walmart. I don't blame Thing 2 at all for his behavior.
Mister, that is the funniest thing I have ever read. I am laughing my butt off. I think that Thing 2 would get more annoying after hearing it all the time. You guys are great.
You are a brilliant writer and very clever! Love to all! I really don't like to go to Wal-Mart...I'm afraid Bob will like to buy more things...or be a greeter.
Peg-- the Bob being a greeter comment just about made me bust a gut laughing! Awesome. The mental picture just makes me giggle.
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